The power of music!!!

"Music is what feelings sound like" How true is that...I don't think there is a single person on this planet who is left untouched by the beauty of it. It is everywhere, from the moment you wake up till the time you go off to sleep, it surrounds you wherever you go. There is something about it which touches your soul deep inside and brings you to life!
I remember 2 weeks ago I had gone with my friends to this place for dinner. I had had a real tiring week, lack of sleep and loads of work. I was wondering if I could survive the night. They had a live band playing there. Not much, just 2 guys, one on the keyboard and the other on the guitar. But they were so alive! And although the crowd out there wasn't much responsive we had a blast! 3 continuous hours of non stop singing (and a bit of a dancing). The songs ranged from old country to soft romantics to soft rock! By the time I left from there it felt as if someone has infused life back in me. I felt so alive!
Exactly one week later, last Thursday, I went to a music concert. It was a western classical music performance by a group of French artists. Just 4 people, one on Cello, one on the Piano, one on Violin and one on the Viola. But they created magic that night! The music was so soulful. There were times when I had tears in my eyes, and some other times I just sat there wishing for someone to hold on to as I listen to it. It touched you right inside, and as the tempo rose you could actually feel yourself holding your breath. It felt as if I was watching a live opera or a play, tragic at times and sometimes playful. It was something I had never heard before. Yes, I listen to Mozart and Bach tracks, but live music! Now that is another story itself!
Sometimes I try to imagine the world without music and all I can feel is that it would be so empty. So lifeless. All I can say while ending is:
"Thank you for the music, the songs I am singing.
Thanks for all, the joy they are bringing.
Who can live without it, I ask in all honestly, what would life be?
Without a song or dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me" :)

Moments

Every once in a while, life gives us some moments, something so special, its there in front of you for a short while and if you dont grab it then, its gone, lost forever and you are left with a little regret that you let it go. You wish for them to come back, but they dont. Its like opportunity is hammering on your door and you just close your eyes and go to sleep.
Something happened to me a while back. We were strolling around in a mall, we came out of a shop and the moment we stepped out the familiar tune of a hindi song started on the music player all around. The song was a waltz song. The moment i heard that and saw the empty floor all around me the thought that popped up in my head "I so want to dance!" Before I could say anything he turned to me and with a smile on his face asked me if I wanted to dance. I was floored and all I could do was stare at him. But for some reason i panicked and said no and pulled him along outside. Till this day I regret it. Till this day I wish that I could go back to that moment in time and say "Yes! Yes I want to dance with you!" *Sigh* but I can't. I let the magic slip from my hands.
These moments are meant for our hearts. They come from the heart and are directed towards our heart. In times like these if we let our minds come in between and analyze it, we will loose them. All I want to say is, if you are blessed with some moment like this in your life, dont think! Dont think about what someone would say or what they would think about you. Just grab it, grab it with both your hands and revel in the joy you feel. Enjoy every second of it. They will never come back, you can probably stage the whole thing again but the essence behind it would be lost. These things are not staged, they just come. Recognize them! Cherish them!

The other day I was chatting with a friend of mine and we started talking about relationships. He said to me, ‘Relationships should be nurtured, like a baby.’
What a simple way of describing something that most people don’t understand. How many times a relationship falls apart because the people involved in it didn’t spend enough time working on it, didn’t give it much importance? I am not just talking about romantic relationship here; it could be a relationship between friends, parents and children with anyone. They all need to be treated with the same respect and given, maybe not equal, but some importance.
When a baby is growing up, his each and every movement is watched closely, everything that can hurt him is moved out of the way, and everyone tries their best to always keep him smiling and laughing. Everyone takes care of him, love him, and protect him. Why? Because, babies are fragile and delicate.
The same goes for our relationships, they are so fragile that a small shred of mis-understanding, un-certainty can break it into tiny un-repairable shreds. In case of babies, everyone around them can see how delicate and how fragile they are and which is why they all rush to make sure that he is happy and taken care of. In case of relationships, it is not something that we can see, but something we need to feel. Something we need to understand. But most of us don’t and which is why many a times these relationships go for a toss. They are taken for granted and then gradually fade away.
People go running behind lucrative careers and trying to make as much money as possible in this short span of life. There is nothing wrong in that. Nothing wrong in wanting a comfortable lifestyle but in wanting that lifestyle people forget what is the one most important thing in their life. It is relationships that surround them and the people who are with them. When I talk about relationships I do not only mean the one that you have with the other people but also the one that you have with yourself. I believe that unless you are at peace with yourself there is no way you can have a harmonious relationship with anyone else around you.
But then I think for some reason everyone wants to see something tangible in front of their eyes in order to believe it or take care of it. “Seeing is believing” cannot be applied in every situation now can it? I guess these days the hopeless romantic in me has awoken again. It had taken a back seat for quite some time. But now that it is up and running, I have started given these things a lot of thoughts again. About why is it that people put money over their relations? Why do people take others for granted? When I talk about romance I don’t just mean the ‘girl-boy’ thing. It could be with anyone. Who says there cannot be romance between you and your friend? It is there everywhere, all around us, all we have to do is open ourselves up to it and feel it.
I am a huge fan of regency romances. All the courting and ball room dancing in the Victorian times. Every time I read any such book or watch any such movie, it makes me wish immediately that I was back in those times being courted with poetry, with music, with dancing. Yes, I do admit that the lives back then must have been pretty boring compared to what we have now, but boy all those fine gentlemen with their charms, the hand written letters *sigh*. In those days they believed in the romance, in the magic behind it. Now it has slowly faded away and I am afraid that it will die soon. I know I know I am a huge ambassador for change, and keep saying that change is the one constant thing in our life and we not only have to accept it but celebrate it. But one can still wish that some things remain the same through the times right? Even if its in dreams.

Today i was feeling very sleepy at work..three nights of not sleeping properly had taken its toll finally! So i decided to leave half an hour early and go for a walk in the garden. Just me and my music. I usually walk around with my head bent and lost in my own thoughts today was no different. But at one point i suddenly looked up, as if some force is asking me to. And the sight was something no words can describe. I tried to capture it in the camera but i dont think this picture can do any justice to it. Then i remembered that its full moon today. I must have seen it so many times in my 23 years yet it leaves me with a sense of wonder. There is something about it which is magical, and cannot be expressed. Am glad i decided to come out today :-)

Recently I read the following quote, “Life is a process of becoming, and a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” How true is this! Basically, in a simple language what it means that in order to live this life you have to accept the fact that there will be constant changes and you have to accept them. Not just blindly accept but learn to celebrate, to enjoy those changes.

At some point we all look back and see how it was earlier and miss what we had then but there are times when we fail to see what we have now. I always look back to my college days and wish that they had never gone away. But what I have now is not bad either. Yes, those sweet memories still remain and I miss the friends I had then. We all have our separate lives now and we have all moved on.

It is not easy to let go completely of what you had. The bittersweet memories will always remain. But that also does not mean that we have to live in our past. We have to learn to move on and to embrace new things. Unless we do that we will never be able to grow up.

There have recently been a lot of changes in my life and there are times when I look back at what my life was 2 months ago and how it is now. I miss a lot of things which I had earlier but then again I wouldn’t give up what I have now for anything.

I think more than the situations, we miss the people who were around us at that time. Some people come in our lives for a short time; they teach us so much and then slowly go away. We don’t like those changes; we want things to go back to the way they were. We want those people back. But in this wanting and longing, we forget to cherish the good times we had with them. Instead we keep concentrating on what we could have had more. It is hard to let go, I know. I have said good bye to so many friends. But I also know that no matter what I do those times will never come back. All I can do is close my eyes and think about those days, and let my mind wander to those places with those people. It never fails to bring a smile to my face. 

The other day in office we were all seeing a forwarded mail which contained some pics of an upcoming movie called “Dostana”. The movie is about two guys who pretend to be gay so that they can get to live in the apartment they want. As we were watching the pics, someone said “There was a time when parents used to worry about their sons marrying a white female when they went abroad, now they would probably worry about their son hooking up with a guy.”

I got real mad when I heard this. I asked them why it matters who a person decides to spend the rest of their lives with as long as they are happy. They replied saying that it is “un-natural” and it is due to so much hype created around the issue many people are turning towards it. I felt like screaming then. It is not as if a person gets up one morning and decides “Oh you know what I think I am going to be gay!” That is not how it works! We are attracted to the people of the opposite sex, which is natural to us; just like that there are some people who are attracted to persons of the same sex. That is natural to them. Where does the “un-natural” part come in this? I can never understand how some people can be so closed minded about certain issues. For them what they believe is right and everything else is all crap! I just wish people would open up their minds and hearts a little bit more.

That day I got so frustrated trying to talk to them about it. Then I realised that I am fighting a loosing battle. They had their minds made up and nothing that anyone can say would penetrate through that wall and make them see reason. But then again, that is their opinion. I am not saying that they should change their thinking just because I said something once, I just wish they would try and broaden their horizons and see that the world is not limited inside a nutshell..it is so huge..so vast…that it can never be limited…

Gee I am not sure if I am making any sense…I am half asleep over here..just had to put this down tho.. yawn…

I have been meaning to write this from a long time but never got around to doing it...now will finally do it...

I have seen so many people around me..all working for big MNCs and getting good pay and benifits but all they can do is crib about their job and how much it sucks!!! Then as i travel to work everyday i look at the people sitting in the toll booths or the guy who stands almost in the middle of the road trying to stop the non PMT bus traffic from going in the 'special' PMT lane or the guy who is given the job of painiting the roads or the road dividers...all these people working in scorching heat...pouring rain...despite the heavy traffic blowing all sorts of dust and other gases in their faces..are they happy with their jobs? the other day i was travelling in a PMT bus and the ticket collecter was a young guy not more than 18 year of age..he reminded me of my cousin who is now in an engineering college....looking at him i felt shouldnt he be studying somewhere? instead of spending his time roaming around in crowded buses collecting money from the passengers..but then again i think...isnt it better tht they are at least making an honest living (even tho meagre)..they can go back home and relax thinking that at least they got something back...way way better than begging on the sreets and turning to unlawful means to fill their stomach....

But still..times like these i feel grateful for what i have....and go to bed everyday thanking the God for what he has given me...how can anyone complain about it? but then again isnt it their right to be happy? it is not their fault that they have comfortable homes while others are living off the streets. but i just wish that pepole would just take some time out and see what they already have rather than wanting and longing for more and more..

a long time back..when i was still in college..i was once sitting with my friends and we suddenly decided to go to a circus...we wanted to revisit out childhood...so we went there...once there instead of looking at all the shows being put up by people around..all i could look at was the dismal conditions which those artists were living in...the tents were visible when entering the place...i actually had tears in my eyes lookng at them...and i also felt ashamed for demanding all sorts luxuries from my parents..

i do believe in karma and the fact that you get what you deserve...but still it is not easy to accept the unfairness of the life all around u...

The dark rain clouds were gathering far ahead. The sweet smell of earth was in the air. The excitement related with the approach of the first monsoon was reflected in the face of each child who was running around. Some children approached a tiny hut in a secluded corner of the village very expectantly, but were very disappointed with the sight that met their eyes and so they walked away silently.

He had watched their approach with half-heartedly. He knew that as always they will just come, take a look and then walk away; searching for something else that would attract their restless minds.

There was a time when this place was the center of all activities. Little girls in their brightly colored dresses and shiny bangles would crowd around him begging for another toy. The boys with their sun burnt skins and worn out dhotis would watch him tirelessly work miracles with his hands. People said he was a magician, who made magic not with tricks but with clay, wood and colors. He never had to argue with anyone regarding the price of his precious toys. There were many reasons for this, he never overpriced his goods, his goods were worth every anna he asked for it, so people didn’t mind paying him and lastly he could not argue. He was mute. God had never given him the gift of speech, but he gave him another gift. The ability to make wonders with his hands. A gift, which brought joyful smiles to so many young faces.

That day was a very special day for him. He had made his best ever piece. A harmonium. It was a very special instrument, different from all the other ones. Why? Simply because not only did it churn out the seven melodious notes of music, he had also captured the seven colors of the rainbow and put them in this little masterpiece of his. He had worked on it for days and now it was complete. He could just imagine the radiant smile on her face when he gave her this gift. His Sugandha. He let a sigh escape him. How he loved her. He still remembered the first time he saw her by the banks of the flowing river. The soft tinkle of her anklets as she walked around in the grass, that musical laugh as she shared jokes with her friends, those long dark hair falling on her back and those big eyes which could melt a mans heart to mush. He knew he loved her from the moment he saw her and felt like he was on seventh heaven when she looked at him and smiled. He thought he had died and gone to heaven. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, he wanted to pour out all his feelings for her but he could not. He could not say it. So he decided to tell her through his toys. From then on he would occasionally make a toy for her and bring it to her house. He would always tremble when her fingers would touch his while taking her gift. And he would revel in that feeling the entire day. She would just take the toy and line it up outside her house. And soon all the colors that he had put in them would just fade away into nothing. But he didn’t mind. His heart, blinded by love, failed to see the indifference in her eyes.

That day as he walked towards her home with the harmonium in his hand he was so sure that the moment she sees it she would jump for joy and run into his arms. He had imagined this scene over and over in his mind. His heart was singing as he walked along. It had been raining all day and sun had just come out. He had seized this moment to rush over to her place and give his gift as soon as possible.

As he was walking along he looked up and he saw something that mesmerized him. It was one of the most beautiful creations of God. It was a rainbow. He looked at it and he forgot all about what was going on around him, and all about where he was going. He stood there transfixed and his heart was filled with pure joy. He then realized something with a start and started running towards her house. He knew he had to show her. He looked at it as a sign from the heavens above. An opportunity, that God gave him to pour his heart out. He knocked urgently on her door and asked her through his signs to come with him immediately. She didn’t want to, she had just been gifted a new black dress by the Zamindar’s son and she wanted to show it off to all her friends. But he left her no choice; he almost dragged her with him to the banks of the same river where they had first met. He then pointed to the sky, the rainbow adorning it. She took one look at it and then started to admire her reflection in the surface of the water that had pooled up on the ground. He again tried to catch her attention and tell her how he had captured the colors of the rainbow in his little toy just for her. So that she would be surrounded by them forever. She shot him an irritated look and said, “But it is not complete!” In that moment he noticed her black dress and how happy she was with it. He realized that he could never be the one to bring color in her life. He was devastated.

It had stopped raining, but the storm inside his heard could not be calmed. Those rains had washed away the colors in his life too. That was exactly a year ago. Things had changed a lot since then. What used to be the life of the village now looked like a century old abandoned building. The magic was gone.

Today, as he sat and watched the raindrops fall from the sky, he was struck with a sudden idea. There was a light in his eyes which had been gone for quite some time. He jumped up from his charpai and rushed out of his hut. He ran from one hut to another asking everyone if they had any colors they could spare from him. The people of the village always had liked this magician of theirs. They readily poured their hearts out and gave him all they had. Soon his bag was full of colors. All sorts them. He then rushed back to his house and waited. As soon as the rains stopped, he picked up the bag and started running towards the river bank. Those who saw him thought that he had lost his mind. There was a crazy gleam in his eyes.

The moment he reached the banks, he threw down his bag and took out all his colors and opened them. He then took out his brush and started throwing these colors in the sky. There was a rainbow today too. It was an incomplete one. He thought that maybe, just maybe if he completes this, his Sugandha would come back to him and he would be the happiest person on this planet. He wanted to do this for her. But soon he realized that however much he tried, he just couldn’t paint the sky. Village magician he was, but not powerful enough to fuse his colors with the biggest magician there is. But he still didn’t stop. He kept going on and these words kept echoing in his head all the time:

Raang de do sabhi, dedo saare raang mujh ko abhi.

Indra-dhanush jo adhura hai, usse poora karana hai.

Aasmaan raangan hai, Mujhe aasmaan rangna hai

(Give all the colors, give me the colors now,

The rainbow is half done, and needs to be completed.

Have to color the sky, I have to paint the sky).

Finally his colors were over and overcome with the mental and physical exhaustion he fell onto his knees and started crying. He had failed. He could not complete the rainbow. His love would never come back to him.

“Your rainbow is already completed Suraj”. The voice was soft and sweet. It sounded as if all the seven notes were emanating from the throat and floating around in the air.

He thought he was dreaming and ignored it. “Just look in the pool beside you Suraj”. The same voice again. This time he did look up and look in the pool as it suggested. He clouded brain could not decipher anything in the beginning, but then the clouds clear away and he saw it. The rainbow that he had thought he could not complete was looking back at him, the full semi-circle of it. The colors that had fallen from his brush had completed the reflection of the rainbow from the sky. He eyes welled up with tears again. This time out of pure joy. The tears that fell from his eyes cleared away the colors from the water surface. And from those colors emerged a face, a face which reflected all the colors that he had painted. Whose eyes looked at him and only him. It was Saloni. They kept looking at each other silently for a long time and he knew that it was going to be all right. Life was going to be all right.

Disclaimer: The concept of this story is by one of my colleagues Ankit.

Recently after interacting closely with so many people around me I have noticed that even though they are all completely different from each other, there is one thing that most of them have in common, and that is loneliness. Many of them are surrounded by people who love them and care for them, many are not, yet they are all lonely. Every one has that longing for their own special someone and most of them have given up hopes of finding one.

In the olden times, people used to live in huge joint families and would get married to the girl/guy of their parents choice when the time came. They never knew what it was like to be lonely. To spend nights just gazing at the stars searching for a face in them. To go to sleep hugging a pillow because you need someone to hold on to. Coupled with the high stressed life that the youth of today lives in, it makes the things even worse.

I have noticed another thing, people who have never been in a relationship, do not really feel the pain and the longing as much. They might wish for the special someone, no doubt, but there wont be a desperation involved in that wish. Desperate, that is what most of the people these days have become. Its like they are drowning in stormy waters and they need to hold on to someone to rescue them out. They come out of the storm for some time and soon slip back again. And as the number of times they slip increases so does their pain and their desperation and their need. Because they cannot imagine what it is like to swim alone. They have become so used to that life support that they are sure to drown if it is not there.

There are a few lucky ones, I do not deny. Those who find their soulmates and are complete. But that is a very few percentage of people. I sometimes wonder if it is a healthy thing. I have claimed so many times that the person I love to spend my time the most is me myself. Which is why I suppose I never felt that desperate need for someone. Of course, the romantic books and movies do make me cry all the time and make me wonder if I will ever have that kind of love. But it is not as if my life would stop if I dont. Am I wierd? I really dont know..Maybe I am. Its just that whenever I see the pain my friends go through day in and day out and all the efforts they take to put on a brave face and smile it just hurts me. I do understand that it is something really special to share your life with that one person. Someone who knows you inside out and is there for you when you need them. But still that does not mean that you spend the rest of your life mooning over the ones who have left and gone.

Yes, it hurts when they go and we miss them, but we have to understand here that people in our life come and go and we miss some the rest we dont even remember after some time. Like someone once said, people come into our life for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime. If they come for a season then you have to believe that it was for a reason and a very good one. Once they go away, the seasons change and a new one soon comes, till that time you wait. And hey who said you are alone! You have yourself to keep you company right?

My extremly dumb but adorable dog..:-)

Whiners

Among all the categories of people one comes across in the walk of life there is one type whom i call the whiners. They have everything they need yet they want more but are not ready to work to get it, to take risks, to get off their a** and work towards getting what they desire. All they would do is sit and complain to anyone who is listening about how they wish they had blah blah. Now i know there are somethings which night always remain a wish as it is not practically possible to achieve it but there are some dreams that you can make come true right? There are times when i absolutly hate such people but there are times when i feel sorry for them too. I wonder if all they need is some push, some support from someone. But then just how much? I dont mine being there for someone who needs it, but for how long? It gets frustrating after some time if you are doing all you can to be there but the other person just uses your words your actions to feel comforted and get back to complaining. Times like these i think maybe i should stop but would it then mean that i am giving up on the person who needs me? Would it mean i am just abandoning him/her in the middle of no-where? How do you know when it is enough?

Today evening as I was sitting in the cafeteria with my colleagues, the topic of our conversation shifted to the male ego. One of the guy said, "No matter how practical and modern man is, he would never accept the fact that his wife is earning more than him." I did not like or rather understand the point he was trying to make. Yes, I agree in the Stone Ages, it was the man's job to hunt for food and be the provider for his family, but that was ages ago. We have come so far from that, yet the need to be the provider of the family is still ingrained in the male species. It is a measure of their success in life. But I wonder why, why is it that a woman cannot earn as much or probably even more than her husband and lend an equal or more hand and taking care of the family? Why is it that even though when we all say that the women are at the same level as men, there is a fine line dividing the two, encompassing the roles and duties of each gender within it.

If the food which is on the table is bought with the woman's money and not the man's would it taste any different? My colleagues said that the men feel important if they are the ones who are earning the bread and butter of the family and that it makes them feel needed. But then I wonder, if it was the woman who had bought the food and the man who had cooked it, would either of them be worth any less? They said that women soon loose respect for the men who use their wives money for their needs. But then in a marriage, where do 'you' and 'me' come? I thought it was all about 'us'.

Maybe at this point of time, it is a bit difficult for me to understand since I am just a spectator and not the player in the field. Once I go out to play, things would be more clear (hopefully)!

Its been almost two years since i have left college and entered the professional life, and each day i cant help but be surprised at how im-nature can people be. The other day we had am all hands call with our teams senior VP, nothing exciting, i am sure most people including me were east asleep but what irked me was the unprofessional behavior displayed by the people all around. Many had not kept their phones on silent and it caused constant hinderence in the speech. People chatting to their hearts content whenever there was a pause. This is just the meeting, even in the day to day routine i see classic examples of such cases. There are a few people around where i sit who i am sure have amplifiers attached to their throats. I am sure that everyone around them must be knowing their entire life story. I guess the concept of talking softly is alien to them. Just today another incident made me doubt the age of the people i am working with. Somebody sent a mail technical mail explaining some concept in java. Now our team does not work in java so he replied saying that the guy should limit his email audience. Just that little thing became such an ego issue to everyone. There were around ten nails discussing whether or not that mail should be sent to everyone. I wonder if they know about this little delete button that we have on our keyboards. All you have to do is press it and viola! The mail has been deleted. But then i guess they needed some thing to add excitement to their day. Lol i wonder if there people will ever grow up.

Monsoon magic..

What is about the rains that makes your heart sing with joy. Everytime you feel that raindrop on your face, each time you take a deep breath and you smell the sweet smell of earth, the dark clouds, the flashing light, and the resonating thunder. Monsoon must be the only season that brings about so many emotions in the people. Romance for those in love..joy while bringing out the kid in us, longing for the times that were, sadness for those things lost. One of the many magical moments you experience in life.

Capturing Memories

The most important part of our luggage when we go out for any vacation is the camera. We might leave out an outfit or two, but the camera forms an integral part of our belongings without which the holiday is incomplete. It is a way to capture the beautiful moments we spend in a form which will be with us forever. I always carry one with me too. I like to then go back and relive those moments again by looking at the photographs. They transport you back to that fun time and for a minute you are on the vacation again.
Recently I went for a vacation to Goa and of course my camera went with me. I took quite a few pictures of all the places I visited, but there was one place where I just couldn't get my self to remove the camera and capture the surroundings. It was when we visited the old St. Xaviers Church. Now I am not a very religious person, yet I do believe that all these places of worship have some kind of a positive, serene aura about them which can be felt even by the people like me. At a place like this it seemed almost insensitive to take a photograph. It felt as if the moment I click the button, something around me will be disturbed, that magic that is there would be gone. And then I saw hundreds of tourists just going about flashing away to glory. I wonder, if they even felt the energy flowing around them. They were so busy taking those pictures that they missed the charm and the real beauty of the place. In taking those photos, they do manage to take in the physical beauty of area but the real spiritual essence is lost. I wish they would understand what they are missing and just sit back and relax. I guess then they would really have a true vacation :)

They have been spurned by the society for something which is not their fault...

They did not ask for it, they were born with it...

They are infected with HIV...

Hospitals refuse to treat them, their own relatives have abandoned them...

Yet that does not stop them from smiling and laughing and enjoying....from living....

What a beautiful evening..

The sky is overcast with dark clouds..the smell of wet earth is in the air,i wonder if it will rain today..:-)

Evening sky from office

My First attempt at mobile blogging :)....

The thing called love

“Love hurts”…I must have heard this phrase so many times, over and over again. Looking at so many broken relationships around me I did think that it does hurt. But then the hopeless romantic in me wakes up and starts thinking ‘How can something so beautiful, hurt?’ The answer to this is simple. Its not love which hurts, it’s the expectations that people set on it which brings on the pain. Love is not restricted by any boundaries, it is unconditional.

When you really truly love someone, you love them for who they are with the negatives and the positives. If you try to change them, well then you loose the person you fell in love with and instead you replace them with an illusion that you have in your mind. There have been so many times all through my college life, so many of my friends asked me ‘who is the man of your dreams?’ To their surprise I would always tell them that I don’t have any image of a man of my dreams. If you stick to that mental picture that you have, you may spend your whole life searching for it, but will never find it. And if you do get someone in your life, you would try to change the person to fit that picture. That is not what love is all about.

Also, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that you get it back the same way. I was once chatting with a friend of mine and he told me, ‘To love someone, and to be loved in return, is a great feeling. It keeps you young.’ I totally agree with that, no matter how old you are, being in love would make you feel like a teenager, always. And yes, being loved in return can be a huge bonus, but at the same time just loving someone could still give you so much, make you so happy.

People always ask, especially after a broken relationship, how do you stop loving someone? I wonder, why would you want to stop loving someone? Just because you are in love with one person doesn’t mean you cannot love someone else. Then why would you want to forget about the first person before you meet the next. Why would you want to fall out of love?

Love is just there, for us to feel, to give. It never asks for anything in return. So I guess, we should change the phrase from ‘Love hurts’ to something like, “If it hurts, it aint love”.

One of my favourite short stories about love (taken from Chicken soup for the soul series) though no relation with the above text:

The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."

Potatoes - The supposed king of vegetables!

I don’t get what is such a big deal about them. I love to see the expressions on everyone’s faces when they find out that I don’t like them. They look at me as if I belong to some other planet or maybe some other galaxy. I would like to tell them all, that I, like them, belong to good ol’ Earth. Am not an alien. Nope, not at all. Ok ok ok I get the fact that those bloody things are present in almost every Indian food preparation (I don’t know why, it is such a pain to sit and pick them out everytime). Big deal, I am sure I can survive without them. I have survived till now haven’t I?

I remember around 10 years ago we had gone for a trip to Manali. We used to leave our hotel after breakfast in the morning, roam around the entire day and return by dinner time. Since, we were out for the whole day there was no guarantee about where and when we will have our lunch. So our moms used to force two ‘Aloo Parathas’ down our throats every morning! Yuck, I still feel like puking when thinking about it. I think it was around that time that I developed my intense hatred for them.

My aunt knows that I will always pick them out from wherever possible in order to avoid eating them, so these days she makes sure that either they are completely mashed or minced so finely that I cannot succeed in my task. It’s a conspiracy I swear.

I think they are just overrated. My not liking them is almost considered a crime!! I fail to understand why. I wonder if I should maybe start an anti-potato club or something. But then again, I don’t think it will be much of a club. I will be the founder member and the only member of that club!

Spaces....

We come across so many people as we progress through this journey called life. From the moment we are born till the time we die, we are surrounded by them. It could be our family, relatives, friends, lovers, colleagues or even mere acquaintances. There is always someone.

Some people absolutely love it, they need to be a part of some or the other group all the time. They need the constant human touch.

Then there are some like me. There was actually a time when I used to think, after watching cast-away, that spending the rest of my life all alone on an island wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Now I shudder at the thought. But still that does not change the fact that I just cannot be around someone or the other all the time. At times it gets suffocating, to a point that I seriously start contemplating the lonely island situation again. But then I do manage to come back to my senses fast enough, thankfully J.

I am not saying that I don’t like to socialise or interact with people. I do like it, or rather have started enjoying it. But still, there are times when I just want to be with me, a time out from everything in this world. All my friends find it really strange and weird. For some reason they just don’t get the fact that I really might like to be alone at times.

When I was in Goa, I had my own bedroom and had a huge terrace attached to that. Almost every night, before going to sleep, I would stand outside on the terrace, gaze at the moon and the stars and softly sing to myself. I have never, ever felt that peaceful anywhere, anytime. I miss that. It helped me clear my head of so many things. There have been so many times, when I was hurt by something, I would stand there, letting all the pain flow out. By the next day, it was an old story, forgotten and buried.

It helps me to quieten all the noise which is inside. Throughout the day, we are running around doing our tasks trying to win the race against time. But there are times when I like to slow down, savour each moment as it comes and just refresh myself and prepare for the next race J.

Is it wrong to ask for some space of your own? I am not saying that I would like to go off and live like a hermit, I am sure I would start getting restless very soon. But just some time, a little time when I don’t have to answer any questions, don’t have to listen to someone blabbering constantly. My mom thinks I am very detached from everyone. I am not; it’s just that I prefer spending time with me more than anyone else. And if someone does not understand or respect that, then I tend to move away from that person. Hence, the illusion of detachment comes in the picture.

Now, I wonder if I am making any sense here. But that is the way I am, take it or leave it.