Tuesday, October 21, 2008


The other day I was chatting with a friend of mine and we started talking about relationships. He said to me, ‘Relationships should be nurtured, like a baby.’
What a simple way of describing something that most people don’t understand. How many times a relationship falls apart because the people involved in it didn’t spend enough time working on it, didn’t give it much importance? I am not just talking about romantic relationship here; it could be a relationship between friends, parents and children with anyone. They all need to be treated with the same respect and given, maybe not equal, but some importance.
When a baby is growing up, his each and every movement is watched closely, everything that can hurt him is moved out of the way, and everyone tries their best to always keep him smiling and laughing. Everyone takes care of him, love him, and protect him. Why? Because, babies are fragile and delicate.
The same goes for our relationships, they are so fragile that a small shred of mis-understanding, un-certainty can break it into tiny un-repairable shreds. In case of babies, everyone around them can see how delicate and how fragile they are and which is why they all rush to make sure that he is happy and taken care of. In case of relationships, it is not something that we can see, but something we need to feel. Something we need to understand. But most of us don’t and which is why many a times these relationships go for a toss. They are taken for granted and then gradually fade away.
People go running behind lucrative careers and trying to make as much money as possible in this short span of life. There is nothing wrong in that. Nothing wrong in wanting a comfortable lifestyle but in wanting that lifestyle people forget what is the one most important thing in their life. It is relationships that surround them and the people who are with them. When I talk about relationships I do not only mean the one that you have with the other people but also the one that you have with yourself. I believe that unless you are at peace with yourself there is no way you can have a harmonious relationship with anyone else around you.
But then I think for some reason everyone wants to see something tangible in front of their eyes in order to believe it or take care of it. “Seeing is believing” cannot be applied in every situation now can it? I guess these days the hopeless romantic in me has awoken again. It had taken a back seat for quite some time. But now that it is up and running, I have started given these things a lot of thoughts again. About why is it that people put money over their relations? Why do people take others for granted? When I talk about romance I don’t just mean the ‘girl-boy’ thing. It could be with anyone. Who says there cannot be romance between you and your friend? It is there everywhere, all around us, all we have to do is open ourselves up to it and feel it.
I am a huge fan of regency romances. All the courting and ball room dancing in the Victorian times. Every time I read any such book or watch any such movie, it makes me wish immediately that I was back in those times being courted with poetry, with music, with dancing. Yes, I do admit that the lives back then must have been pretty boring compared to what we have now, but boy all those fine gentlemen with their charms, the hand written letters *sigh*. In those days they believed in the romance, in the magic behind it. Now it has slowly faded away and I am afraid that it will die soon. I know I know I am a huge ambassador for change, and keep saying that change is the one constant thing in our life and we not only have to accept it but celebrate it. But one can still wish that some things remain the same through the times right? Even if its in dreams.


9 comments:

Sandy said...

hey, you are a very fine writer. But more than that its your thoughts and observation. Your observation and analogy on how we treat a baby vis-a-vis how we treat other relations is really nice and thought provoking.
I liked going through your earlier posts as well. Keep writing!

Cheers,
Sandy

dreamy said...

Thank you Sandy, how did you come across my space here? I am glad you liked it...

Sandy said...

Hey Dreamy - sorry i dont know your name :)
I am not sure i think i was in general browsing through the Pune blogger list and came up to this blog... and I am glad that I did :)
Your articles are interesting, keep writing!

dreamy said...

thank you once again!! needless to say i went thru ur blog too..not completely yet...but will def read thru the whole thing :)....

Sandy said...

Thanks for visiting my blog too :)

Wish you a very happy deepawali!

Sandy

Adisha said...

Hey dreamy ,

Long time. Firstly Happy Diwali !

Lovely thoughts ! Romance & Relationships. Sigh !! Truly arts that are changing with time and need to be nurturing before they truly go out of style. You know, the funniest thing is it's the most common sense thing that every relation should be cherished and yet, here we all are struggling to make sense of people's behavior. Forget maintaining friendships and affairs, people don't even put in effort for simple etiquette. And now, I find most of the people I know who need a lesson in relation maintenance are just to old to be taught the imp of plz and thankus. By me atleast ! So, I just grin and bear it ...

Every relation like everything in nature needs devotion to grow and flourish. But don't worry dear ! Romance though not everyone's piece of cake surely finds it's way in every couple one way or another. Just don't forget to look for it ... :)

cheers ..
adisha

dreamy said...

heyy adisha,

wish you the same!!! i surely hope what u said is true...when i tlk abt romance i just dont mean getting flowers and chocolates for the other person or being all mushy and moon eyed....it could also mean doing things u enjoy together...which could be just sitting out somewhere and gazing at the stars...just being with each other...

abt etiquettes..that is also tru...sometimes looking at certain people one cant help but wonder if they are just born without a brain or pretending to be so...feel like holding them and shking them awake!!

Adisha said...

Well,dreamy you're on the right track so you Will get there for the thing is chocolate, flowers, gifts do Not romance make ...

It's all about the little things and cherishing each other and all the moments you have together ...

Hehehee. I swear, I can so relate to wanting to shake some sense into someone .. :D

*Shall* said...

Do you see happy people? not many rite..tis is why..becoz they spend a lifetime after all the materalistic things and give up all their time on relations.

And your not the only one whose a hopeless romantic dreamin of handwriten letters (which if u must know i do write)...dnt dream..do wa u like. you can write poetry, u can dance the dances..why wait! :)