Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Today was one such day. So I decided to go through one of my favourite blogs written by a friend of mine. In one of his entries he had given the perfect description of a person's reactions when confronted with someone they have some special feelings for. It took me back to a conversation both of us were having a couple of days back on a similar topic. About that feeling of discomfort when we come face to face with someone we have a 'crush' on.
Well I was just wondering, why is it that we feel so uncomfortable and start acting like complete idiots? I have been there too. Cant string a sentence together, your throat feels dry, your ears turn red etc. etc. etc. Shouldnt it be the exact opposite? Shouldnt it be like the first time you meet that person and it feels as if you have known each other for a lifetime? You should feel most comfy around them. I mean whats the point of being with someone who makes you feel awkward? But then I think I am getting confused between a 'crush' and 'love' or not!!!
But still it is wierd isnt it? You might have been friends with a person forever and you have had the best times with him/her. But the moment the feelings from your side or the other person's side get deeper things become difficult. Why? Neither of you have changed then where does the awkwardness come from?
I still remember my first crush in school. Damn the moment he came in front of me I could never think straight. I used to love to hang out with him, and we have had some great times together. But there were times when I behaved like a complete idiot around him. But now, now that he has someone in his life, I am so much at ease with him. I have not seen him for a long time now, but the last time I met him it was like meeting an old and a good friend. It felt good. I felt free. I have tried to analyse it so many times but always hit a blank wall. I just dont get it, probably never will.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
"Look, I guarantee that we'll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me." - The Runaway Bride
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Before I start off, I just want to say that I respect all the religions equally and am not trying to hurt anyone's beliefs of sentiments. I would just like to express my views on this subject. I am not an atheist ( as most people think ). I truly belive that there is some supreme power above us, looking after us, giving us strength in the tough times, giving us joy, and just being there for us when we need him. But still there is a part of me which just cannot accept some things.
Let me give an example. The other day during lunch time my aunt realised that the dabbawala had not come to collect my cousin's lunch. It was too late for anyone to go and give it to them. She was so upset, she could not eat her lunch thinking that her children would be hungry in school. Now think about this. Whenever I see my aunts and grandma praying towards the end they always say "Twameva mata, pitah twameva, twameva bandhu, sakha twameva" ( you are my mother, you are my father, you are my partner, you are my best friend). And yet they have these customs of fasting for an entire day for various things. My aunt could not bear to eat her food when her kids were hungry, then what about God? Wont he feel anything when he sees his children are going hungry? As a kid I never had to beg in front of my parents if I wanted something. I just had to tell them and if they thoughts my demands were not very unreasonable they would get it for me. Then why does everyone beg and plead and make deals with God? "Oh God I will stay hungry for x number of days, please give me a good husband." or " God I will visit your temple everyday, please make me successful." He is probably the only one who loves us unconditionally. He doesnt want anything in return, other than love. People travel long distances to visit the places of worship. They go on teerthyatras in search of peace and salvation. How do they manage to get that in the midst of a huge crowd is still a mystery to me. They hardly get a glimpse of the idol but still think that their journey has been successfull. They bribe the priests to stay a little while longer in front of the idol. I feel its all for namesake these days.I wonder how many of these people truly belive in all this.
I cannot look for God in clay idols no matter how beautiful they are. When I am upset or tensed, I just close my eyes, imagine a source o light, strong and shining bright. I tell him "Dear God, this is what has been troubling me. I am not going to be worried over it. It is your headache please take care of it for me." And he does! When I am feeling sad, I tell him "I dont want to be sad, please take away my tears", and they disappear. He is my father, mother, brother, sister, my best friend.
But then again, these is my POV. Maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong. I dont know. I just do what my heart tells me to.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Just the other day I was lamenting about my lack of interaction with mother nature and the opportunity landed in my lap yesterday . I had gone for an outing to Bhimashankar with my colleagues. The experience was out of this world. The beauty of nature never ceases to amaze me. We were walking up the hill, with cool breeze blowing around us and small streams of water beneath our feet. I think the sound of a flowing brook has to be the most soothing sound in the world. One can lie down for hours and listen to it. That's just what I felt like doing. The forest cover was so thick. We did not go inside the actual jungle, but the view! It is hard to explain in words. The hills were totally covered in the blanket of green. Sun rays were filtering through the clouds, which would sometimes cover it up completely.
For a moment I was actually worried that my lungs will not be able to stand the pure air for a long time, they are so used to breathing in the pollution everyday . But luckily for me, they survived. The best part came later though. After we had come down and everyone was just sitting around having a cup of tea, the clouds started rolling in. We were surrounded by a thick fog from all sides. There was no way I could sit inside the tea joint no matter how exhausted I was. I rushed outside, closed my eyes and just embraced the swirling mist. I was in heaven *sigh*, my own Neverland.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
On the other hand what about the film stars? Now consider the Sanjay Dutt case or even the Salman Khan case that is going on. Sanjay Dutt was involved in the Mumbai bomb blasts which killed so many people. Salman Khan charged for killing wild animals and running over someone sleeping on the footpath. What these guys did ended in taking innocent lives. Yet, they seem to have the full support of the nation. People are praying for their release. Why? Just because they are huge stars? Does this justify their actions?
Hell, we loose a measly match and people take is as a personal insult! On the other hand, their countrymen are dying for no fault of their own and the offenders are walking free while the mass is upholding them. How can people be such hypocrites!