Tuesday, October 23, 2007


I had a friend in college, she was famous in the entire college for her short temper. She had some panga with practically all the professors and even the students from neighbouring colleges. She would be upset by the tiniest thing. The other day I was having lunch with her and she got mad at someone for some reason. I as usual reprimanded her for loosing her temper. She looked at me and asked me, 'How in the world do you manage to keep your cool?' I had heard this n number of times earlier from all my friends in college. They would always try to upset or anger me in some way but always failed.

When I got back home, I was pondering over the matter. I tried to do some self-analysis in order to understand why don't I get mad over trivial matter. I didn't have to think for a long time. I realised the reason I am able to keep such a cool head is that I don't care for much for these things. And because I am so detached, I manage to keep my temper in check. In way it is good, but on the other hand doesn't it seem a bit cold? Ok I am not saying that I am like a sage detached from each and every thing in this world. Hell no, I am a normal human being. Well, ok this does not seem to be the appropriate reason.

I guess, I am still connected to everything that is important to me, but also at the same time wear a mask of nonchalance in order to protect myself from getting hurt. The other day I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner but at the last minute she called me and said that she could not make it. At that time I just shrugged it off saying it was no big deal, but it was. I didn't show that though. Each time I am faced with a situation which might make me look vulnerable, an invisible mask covers up my face and no one knows about the plethora of emotions raging inside me. There are times when my eyes betray me, not even the thickest disguise can cover that. But then luckily, no one has the time or patience to look deep into them and try to figure out what is really going on ( I am talking about friends and acquaintances here, can never ever fool my mom).

I just wish, someone would break through this wall once and try to read what is hidden behind it. Sometimes, what we see can be misleading.


ramer...thoughts on an overdrive!! said...

u have no idea hw much i identify with this post!!

dreamy said...

needless to say tht another thing we have in common :)