Evening sky from office

My First attempt at mobile blogging :)....

The thing called love

“Love hurts”…I must have heard this phrase so many times, over and over again. Looking at so many broken relationships around me I did think that it does hurt. But then the hopeless romantic in me wakes up and starts thinking ‘How can something so beautiful, hurt?’ The answer to this is simple. Its not love which hurts, it’s the expectations that people set on it which brings on the pain. Love is not restricted by any boundaries, it is unconditional.

When you really truly love someone, you love them for who they are with the negatives and the positives. If you try to change them, well then you loose the person you fell in love with and instead you replace them with an illusion that you have in your mind. There have been so many times all through my college life, so many of my friends asked me ‘who is the man of your dreams?’ To their surprise I would always tell them that I don’t have any image of a man of my dreams. If you stick to that mental picture that you have, you may spend your whole life searching for it, but will never find it. And if you do get someone in your life, you would try to change the person to fit that picture. That is not what love is all about.

Also, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that you get it back the same way. I was once chatting with a friend of mine and he told me, ‘To love someone, and to be loved in return, is a great feeling. It keeps you young.’ I totally agree with that, no matter how old you are, being in love would make you feel like a teenager, always. And yes, being loved in return can be a huge bonus, but at the same time just loving someone could still give you so much, make you so happy.

People always ask, especially after a broken relationship, how do you stop loving someone? I wonder, why would you want to stop loving someone? Just because you are in love with one person doesn’t mean you cannot love someone else. Then why would you want to forget about the first person before you meet the next. Why would you want to fall out of love?

Love is just there, for us to feel, to give. It never asks for anything in return. So I guess, we should change the phrase from ‘Love hurts’ to something like, “If it hurts, it aint love”.

One of my favourite short stories about love (taken from Chicken soup for the soul series) though no relation with the above text:

The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."

Potatoes - The supposed king of vegetables!

I don’t get what is such a big deal about them. I love to see the expressions on everyone’s faces when they find out that I don’t like them. They look at me as if I belong to some other planet or maybe some other galaxy. I would like to tell them all, that I, like them, belong to good ol’ Earth. Am not an alien. Nope, not at all. Ok ok ok I get the fact that those bloody things are present in almost every Indian food preparation (I don’t know why, it is such a pain to sit and pick them out everytime). Big deal, I am sure I can survive without them. I have survived till now haven’t I?

I remember around 10 years ago we had gone for a trip to Manali. We used to leave our hotel after breakfast in the morning, roam around the entire day and return by dinner time. Since, we were out for the whole day there was no guarantee about where and when we will have our lunch. So our moms used to force two ‘Aloo Parathas’ down our throats every morning! Yuck, I still feel like puking when thinking about it. I think it was around that time that I developed my intense hatred for them.

My aunt knows that I will always pick them out from wherever possible in order to avoid eating them, so these days she makes sure that either they are completely mashed or minced so finely that I cannot succeed in my task. It’s a conspiracy I swear.

I think they are just overrated. My not liking them is almost considered a crime!! I fail to understand why. I wonder if I should maybe start an anti-potato club or something. But then again, I don’t think it will be much of a club. I will be the founder member and the only member of that club!

Spaces....

We come across so many people as we progress through this journey called life. From the moment we are born till the time we die, we are surrounded by them. It could be our family, relatives, friends, lovers, colleagues or even mere acquaintances. There is always someone.

Some people absolutely love it, they need to be a part of some or the other group all the time. They need the constant human touch.

Then there are some like me. There was actually a time when I used to think, after watching cast-away, that spending the rest of my life all alone on an island wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Now I shudder at the thought. But still that does not change the fact that I just cannot be around someone or the other all the time. At times it gets suffocating, to a point that I seriously start contemplating the lonely island situation again. But then I do manage to come back to my senses fast enough, thankfully J.

I am not saying that I don’t like to socialise or interact with people. I do like it, or rather have started enjoying it. But still, there are times when I just want to be with me, a time out from everything in this world. All my friends find it really strange and weird. For some reason they just don’t get the fact that I really might like to be alone at times.

When I was in Goa, I had my own bedroom and had a huge terrace attached to that. Almost every night, before going to sleep, I would stand outside on the terrace, gaze at the moon and the stars and softly sing to myself. I have never, ever felt that peaceful anywhere, anytime. I miss that. It helped me clear my head of so many things. There have been so many times, when I was hurt by something, I would stand there, letting all the pain flow out. By the next day, it was an old story, forgotten and buried.

It helps me to quieten all the noise which is inside. Throughout the day, we are running around doing our tasks trying to win the race against time. But there are times when I like to slow down, savour each moment as it comes and just refresh myself and prepare for the next race J.

Is it wrong to ask for some space of your own? I am not saying that I would like to go off and live like a hermit, I am sure I would start getting restless very soon. But just some time, a little time when I don’t have to answer any questions, don’t have to listen to someone blabbering constantly. My mom thinks I am very detached from everyone. I am not; it’s just that I prefer spending time with me more than anyone else. And if someone does not understand or respect that, then I tend to move away from that person. Hence, the illusion of detachment comes in the picture.

Now, I wonder if I am making any sense here. But that is the way I am, take it or leave it.

Today I went to watch 'Taare Zamein Par' with my colleagues. It is such a realistic, simple story told beautiful. Something which I am sure if not many at least some percentage of the people can relate to. It is a kind of story that makes you think about the human nature, and society in general.
The movie is about a kid who suffers from dyslexia and his struggle to find himself in the masses. Makes you wonder about the mentality of the people and how most of them live their lives like robots. That is how everyone has been trained, when you are a kid you have to go to school. Once you reach the tenth standard you become a part of a never ending rat race. First, it is to excel in the board exams and get admission in a good junior college. Then if you think you are free from it once the boards are over, the competitive exams and the 12th boards soon follow and you are in the race to get into a good professional college. And once that is over you are fighting to get a good job or a good PG college.
Once you are out in the corporate world you are fighting to earn as much as you can when you still have the chance to climb the ladder pushing the others aside. Where does it finally end? When you die? What do you get in the end?
Then there is another breed of people. Those who do not want to be a part of this system. Their mind works in a different direction and they live in a world of their own. A world which is far removed from this one. They are happy there, content. But for some reason that is not acceptable by the people around them. They cannot tolerate the fact that someone among them thinks differently from them, does not want what they want. So, they try to force the person into behaving like them. Everyone wants a child who gets good grades, does well in sports or some other extra-curricular activity etc. etc. They want their kid to be perfect.
But, what is 'perfect' ? A dictionary defines 'perfect' as being complete of its kind and without any blemish. I ask again, what is perfect? Does getting straight A's and topping a class in every subject makes on perfect? Does having 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 nose make you perfect? Perfection is something that is defined by this society. By 'the others' as one of my friends like to call them. But my definition of perfect may be different from someone else. People just blindly follow what is put in front of them, and if someone tries to defy that, he/she is labeled as a 'freak'. Just because a person does not get 95% in an exam does not mean he/she is dumb.
I had the pleasure of knowing one such Angel. She was my schoolmates little sister. She was suffering from 'Downs Syndrome'. She was such a little darling. I can never forget her sweet innocent face. The way she would just come and hug you when she thought you were mad at her for something. I can never forget the time when I had the honor of receiving one such hug. It was the sweetest, the best hug I ever got.
Sometimes I think people like Angel are the most happiest. They like others dont care about what people think of them. They do not understand the 'rules' nor do they wish to. They are happy in their world, but most of them are not allowed to. I wish for once people will breakthrough this concept of 'society' and live for themselves and let others live too.

I mentioned in my previous post how watching dancing can cheer one up. You know what...screw that...

when watching on TV i guess yea but when there is music being played and people all around you are moving to the rythm and all you can do is sit and watch...well there is nothing more torturing than that. that is what happened to me today. A friend of mine had invited me to a latin party. Initially I refuesd as there would be no point going for a dance party with a broken leg but in the end she wore me down and there I was sitting on the chair looking at guys and gals swaying to the rythms of salsa, samba, jive, cha-cha, rumba, merengue..and all i could do was curse my broken leg and drown myself in self pity...

but i had not counted on Aniruddha. he was the first guy i ever danced properly with and abs enjoy dancing with. he knew how bad i was feeling about not being able to dance...i was just sitting on the chair with him in front of me when he suddenly got up and offered me his hand..i was staring at him for a whole minute...he extended his hand again and all i could say "Are you crazy? You do know that I have a broken leg right and that I wont be able to put my weight on that". He just smiled and said dont worry I will take care of it...man was i torn....my heart was telling me to jump up and go ahead but the head was holding me back...in the end my heart won..i took his hand and he led me to the floor...and we danced!!! sigh..as luck would have it..they played a rumba and a cha-cha number, both my favourite dances, at that moment...i wouldnt say tht i danced well or anything..hell i will hardly moving my feet...just shuffling them and like he promised he took care that i am not putting my weight on the broken foot..

it was not a proper dance..but for me at that moment it was bliss...he gave me the whole world in that moment...i dont mean to be melodramatic but my heart was actually overflowing with happiness and I was on cloud #9....

Thanks Ani, thank you so much for what you gave me.... :)

Letter to the void...

Dear void,
Ever since I got up this morning there was a strange uneasiness inside me. As the time passed by at one point I felt as if my heart was breaking. I felt like going someplace all by myself and close my eyes and stay there forever. It’s really strange. But looks like someone up there didn’t want me to be blue J. After dinner my mom was watching some serial on TV and there is this scene in which a teacher is giving some advice to her student. Listening to those words it felt as if they were said just for me. It instantly eased up the pain that was wrenching my heart. And then to top it off as I was surfing through the various channels, I saw a dance program. Watching those people swaying to the beautiful tunes of the Waltz, Salsa, Tango etc. cheered me up instantly. There is something about dancing which makes you forget about everything else and lifts your mood instantly. I know I might not be able to put on my dancing shoes for another month or two but watching those dancers floating across the floor made me feel as if I was back home dancing the evening away. For a moment I had a strange feeling as if all of this was done especially for me to cheer me up.
I don’t know if it is true or like people say its my overactive imagination running in hyperdrive, but whatever it is, I feel so much better now. Feel like dancing like there is no tomorrow. I know I know its not possible at the moment, what the heck I can do it in my mind and be happy about it right.
So a big thank you to the big guy up there. Thank you for being there for me. I love you.

Dreamy