The thing called love

“Love hurts”…I must have heard this phrase so many times, over and over again. Looking at so many broken relationships around me I did think that it does hurt. But then the hopeless romantic in me wakes up and starts thinking ‘How can something so beautiful, hurt?’ The answer to this is simple. Its not love which hurts, it’s the expectations that people set on it which brings on the pain. Love is not restricted by any boundaries, it is unconditional.

When you really truly love someone, you love them for who they are with the negatives and the positives. If you try to change them, well then you loose the person you fell in love with and instead you replace them with an illusion that you have in your mind. There have been so many times all through my college life, so many of my friends asked me ‘who is the man of your dreams?’ To their surprise I would always tell them that I don’t have any image of a man of my dreams. If you stick to that mental picture that you have, you may spend your whole life searching for it, but will never find it. And if you do get someone in your life, you would try to change the person to fit that picture. That is not what love is all about.

Also, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that you get it back the same way. I was once chatting with a friend of mine and he told me, ‘To love someone, and to be loved in return, is a great feeling. It keeps you young.’ I totally agree with that, no matter how old you are, being in love would make you feel like a teenager, always. And yes, being loved in return can be a huge bonus, but at the same time just loving someone could still give you so much, make you so happy.

People always ask, especially after a broken relationship, how do you stop loving someone? I wonder, why would you want to stop loving someone? Just because you are in love with one person doesn’t mean you cannot love someone else. Then why would you want to forget about the first person before you meet the next. Why would you want to fall out of love?

Love is just there, for us to feel, to give. It never asks for anything in return. So I guess, we should change the phrase from ‘Love hurts’ to something like, “If it hurts, it aint love”.

One of my favourite short stories about love (taken from Chicken soup for the soul series) though no relation with the above text:

The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."

Potatoes - The supposed king of vegetables!

I don’t get what is such a big deal about them. I love to see the expressions on everyone’s faces when they find out that I don’t like them. They look at me as if I belong to some other planet or maybe some other galaxy. I would like to tell them all, that I, like them, belong to good ol’ Earth. Am not an alien. Nope, not at all. Ok ok ok I get the fact that those bloody things are present in almost every Indian food preparation (I don’t know why, it is such a pain to sit and pick them out everytime). Big deal, I am sure I can survive without them. I have survived till now haven’t I?

I remember around 10 years ago we had gone for a trip to Manali. We used to leave our hotel after breakfast in the morning, roam around the entire day and return by dinner time. Since, we were out for the whole day there was no guarantee about where and when we will have our lunch. So our moms used to force two ‘Aloo Parathas’ down our throats every morning! Yuck, I still feel like puking when thinking about it. I think it was around that time that I developed my intense hatred for them.

My aunt knows that I will always pick them out from wherever possible in order to avoid eating them, so these days she makes sure that either they are completely mashed or minced so finely that I cannot succeed in my task. It’s a conspiracy I swear.

I think they are just overrated. My not liking them is almost considered a crime!! I fail to understand why. I wonder if I should maybe start an anti-potato club or something. But then again, I don’t think it will be much of a club. I will be the founder member and the only member of that club!

Spaces....

We come across so many people as we progress through this journey called life. From the moment we are born till the time we die, we are surrounded by them. It could be our family, relatives, friends, lovers, colleagues or even mere acquaintances. There is always someone.

Some people absolutely love it, they need to be a part of some or the other group all the time. They need the constant human touch.

Then there are some like me. There was actually a time when I used to think, after watching cast-away, that spending the rest of my life all alone on an island wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Now I shudder at the thought. But still that does not change the fact that I just cannot be around someone or the other all the time. At times it gets suffocating, to a point that I seriously start contemplating the lonely island situation again. But then I do manage to come back to my senses fast enough, thankfully J.

I am not saying that I don’t like to socialise or interact with people. I do like it, or rather have started enjoying it. But still, there are times when I just want to be with me, a time out from everything in this world. All my friends find it really strange and weird. For some reason they just don’t get the fact that I really might like to be alone at times.

When I was in Goa, I had my own bedroom and had a huge terrace attached to that. Almost every night, before going to sleep, I would stand outside on the terrace, gaze at the moon and the stars and softly sing to myself. I have never, ever felt that peaceful anywhere, anytime. I miss that. It helped me clear my head of so many things. There have been so many times, when I was hurt by something, I would stand there, letting all the pain flow out. By the next day, it was an old story, forgotten and buried.

It helps me to quieten all the noise which is inside. Throughout the day, we are running around doing our tasks trying to win the race against time. But there are times when I like to slow down, savour each moment as it comes and just refresh myself and prepare for the next race J.

Is it wrong to ask for some space of your own? I am not saying that I would like to go off and live like a hermit, I am sure I would start getting restless very soon. But just some time, a little time when I don’t have to answer any questions, don’t have to listen to someone blabbering constantly. My mom thinks I am very detached from everyone. I am not; it’s just that I prefer spending time with me more than anyone else. And if someone does not understand or respect that, then I tend to move away from that person. Hence, the illusion of detachment comes in the picture.

Now, I wonder if I am making any sense here. But that is the way I am, take it or leave it.